1
00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:54,470
Man, will you look at all the hot tail
running around this place?
2
00:00:54,550 --> 00:00:56,590
Look, look. Oh, God.
3
00:00:56,680 --> 00:01:00,350
Dad, listen, could you just... Please,
please don't embarrass me today, okay?
4
00:01:00,430 --> 00:01:01,970
- Embarrass you?
- Not today.
5
00:01:02,060 --> 00:01:04,060
Son, you spent the entire summer depressed
6
00:01:04,140 --> 00:01:06,850
because your girlfriend ran off
with that pretty boy, Trent.
7
00:01:06,940 --> 00:01:09,860
Now, you gotta get out there
and crush some ass!
8
00:01:09,940 --> 00:01:11,440
It's the only way to get
your mind off her.
9
00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:14,150
- Yes. Yes, that is what I'm talking about.
- Yes, huh?
10
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:16,410
"Crush some ass"? Oh, come on.
11
00:01:16,950 --> 00:01:18,530
Wait, wait, wait.
12
00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:21,200
- I'll show you how it's done.
- Oh, no. No, no, no.
13
00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:23,200
- Watch this. Just watch and learn.
- Just please drive.
14
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:26,290
Excuse me, ladies? Hi. Hi.
15
00:01:26,370 --> 00:01:28,710
- This is my son, Erik.
- Hi.
16
00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:32,710
And he's moving in today,
17
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:37,130
and we were just wondering
if maybe either of you were interested
18
00:01:37,220 --> 00:01:38,970
in showing him a good time?
19
00:01:39,430 --> 00:01:40,930
No, thanks.
20
00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:44,520
I'm sorry.
21
00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:47,730
- He's a stallion, just like his old man!
- No, Dad, come on!
22
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:49,900
Well, I tried, Erik.
23
00:01:49,980 --> 00:01:51,980
Yeah, thanks.
Now I'm gonna have to transfer.
24
00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:57,420
- Son, son?
- Yeah.
25
00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:58,770
I want to show you something.
26
00:01:58,820 --> 00:02:02,370
That is the list of all the chicks
I ever banged.
27
00:02:03,870 --> 00:02:05,080
Are you serious?
28
00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:07,580
- Is that two-sided? It is! Nice!
- It is!
29
00:02:07,670 --> 00:02:11,040
Yeah. It's a good goal for you to try
to keep up with your old man.
30
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,660
Hey, Dad, why isn't Mom's name
the last name on the list there?
31
00:02:15,630 --> 00:02:20,010
We didn't tell you, but when you were three,
we had a trial separation for a week.
32
00:02:20,090 --> 00:02:21,390
Trial...
33
00:02:21,930 --> 00:02:25,010
Dad, there's like... Well,
there's 10 names here for that week alone.
34
00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:27,770
Yeah, I went on kind of
a poon-tang bender, there.
35
00:02:27,850 --> 00:02:28,980
Is that my mom's name?
36
00:02:29,060 --> 00:02:31,860
Yeah, you know, on second thought,
I'll just kind of hang on to that.
37
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:34,570
Come on, guys. Let's get loaded here!
38
00:02:35,150 --> 00:02:37,190
- I'm sorry.
- Cooze, grab a box.
39
00:02:38,110 --> 00:02:39,820
- Did you have sex with his mom?
- Yeah.
40
00:02:39,820 --> 00:02:40,950
How was it?
41
00:02:50,460 --> 00:02:53,000
Wow! This place is amazing.
42
00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:55,060
Hi.
43
00:02:55,090 --> 00:02:58,090
God, there are girls everywhere.
44
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:00,970
This is my room.
45
00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:03,340
It still kind of sucks
that we're not gonna be rooming together.
46
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:05,640
Dude, whatever.
You're gonna be right down the hall.
47
00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:07,430
Besides, I got a single.
48
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,430
- Hold on to this. I'm gonna find a bathroom.
- All right.
49
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,230
I'll be right back.
50
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:15,270
Hi, how you doing?
Mike Coozeman. Glad to meet you.
51
00:03:20,570 --> 00:03:24,030
Wow. This is gonna
take some getting used to.
52
00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:29,250
Yeah, isn't this the guy's bathroom?
53
00:03:29,330 --> 00:03:32,330
No, it's coed.
All the dorms are like this.
54
00:03:33,250 --> 00:03:35,000
Cool, coed, yeah.
55
00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:37,090
Don't worry. I won't peek.
56
00:03:37,340 --> 00:03:40,300
Yeah, I won't peek...
I won't peek, either.
57
00:03:40,380 --> 00:03:43,260
- I'm Ashley, what's your name?
- I'm Erik.
58
00:03:44,510 --> 00:03:47,850
- Well, it's nice to meet you, Erik.
- It's nice to meet you, too.
59
00:03:49,180 --> 00:03:53,310
Hey, do you think you could pass me
my shampoo? It's just right there.
60
00:03:53,690 --> 00:03:57,570
- Yeah. Just give me a minute here, okay?
- Thanks.
61
00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:13,460
Erik?
62
00:04:16,380 --> 00:04:17,630
Erik?
63
00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:19,710
A little help here?
64
00:04:29,010 --> 00:04:30,770
Ride the white whale, baby!
65
00:04:30,850 --> 00:04:32,060
Ride the white whale.
66
00:04:32,140 --> 00:04:34,400
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, my God. Oh, man. I'm sorry.
67
00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:35,480
I'm sorry, the door was...
68
00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:37,020
- Hey, you must be Erik.
- I am.
69
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,270
- I'm Bobby.
- Hi.
70
00:04:39,820 --> 00:04:41,690
- Come on in, man.
- No, no, no. It's...
71
00:04:41,780 --> 00:04:44,820
- You guys are busy. I can come back later.
- Okay, listen. This is your place, too,
72
00:04:44,820 --> 00:04:47,240
and don't worry about Margie.
She's not exactly shy.
73
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:48,870
No, she's not.
74
00:04:48,950 --> 00:04:52,410
- Sit down. You want a beer?
- No.
75
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:54,420
- You sure?
- Yeah.
76
00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:57,540
Are you hungry?
Margie cooked up some mean bratwurst.
77
00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:01,590
- No, I just had a sandwich. Thanks.
- All right.
78
00:05:01,670 --> 00:05:03,720
- Where're you from?
- East Great Falls.
79
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:05,380
East Great Falls.
80
00:05:08,140 --> 00:05:10,390
Slow down, sassy pants.
81
00:05:10,470 --> 00:05:12,890
All right, baby?
I'm trying to have a conversation.
82
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:14,140
Yeah.
83
00:05:14,730 --> 00:05:19,320
- College! Yeah! Best years of our lives!
- Yeah.
84
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:20,900
Put it up.
85
00:05:21,980 --> 00:05:24,070
- Oh, high...
- High-five.
86
00:05:25,490 --> 00:05:26,740
You wanna jump in on this?
87
00:05:26,820 --> 00:05:29,200
- Come on. Margie loves it.
- No, no, no. Margie, no, no.
88
00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:31,120
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, I'm good.
89
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:34,250
Look, it was very nice to meet you,
Bobby and Margie.
90
00:05:34,330 --> 00:05:36,370
Actually, I just came
to change my pants here.
91
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:38,710
I spilled a drink on it earlier
92
00:05:41,590 --> 00:05:43,130
Are you role-playing again?
93
00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:47,220
Say the safe word, baby. Say the safe...
Baby? Are you choking?
94
00:05:47,300 --> 00:05:49,140
- Dude, I think she's choking!
- What?
95
00:05:49,220 --> 00:05:50,720
I think she's choking.
You gotta do something.
96
00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:51,720
- Do something.
- I can't do anything!
97
00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:54,310
I'm tied up and basted
like a Thanksgiving turkey.
98
00:05:54,390 --> 00:05:56,890
- Hold on. From the spot.
- Come on
99
00:05:56,980 --> 00:05:58,190
- Oh.
- Breathe.
100
00:05:58,270 --> 00:05:59,730
What do you want me to do with all this...
101
00:05:59,730 --> 00:06:01,070
Get out!
102
00:06:01,150 --> 00:06:02,820
- Erik? No!
- Sorry.
103
00:06:03,940 --> 00:06:05,490
All right, son!
104
00:06:06,610 --> 00:06:09,160
Yeah! That's what being
a Stifler's all about.
105
00:06:09,530 --> 00:06:11,240
- No, no, no. She was choking.
- That's it!
106
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,740
- I was helping her.
- That's how Stiflers do college.
107
00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:15,500
Now, let's just give
these kids some privacy.
108
00:06:15,580 --> 00:06:17,540
Doing good. Keep it up.
109
00:06:20,290 --> 00:06:24,170
I'm not trying to freak you out, roomie,
but I just totally came.
110
00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:54,380
Hey, ladies.
111
00:06:54,410 --> 00:07:01,130
Is this where
Laura Johnson and Sara Coleman live?
112
00:07:01,790 --> 00:07:05,340
Yeah, I'm Laura Johnson
and this is my roommate, Sara.
113
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,150
My name is Dwight Stifler.
114
00:07:07,210 --> 00:07:08,970
I'm here with the
Freshman Welcoming Committee,
115
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:11,330
and I've been given instructions
to escort you ladies
116
00:07:11,340 --> 00:07:13,550
on a guided tour of the entire campus.
117
00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:16,100
- That's so sweet.
- Yeah.
118
00:07:16,180 --> 00:07:18,480
Should we wear anything special?
119
00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:25,070
Dude, there is no way that everybody
in this is a student here.
120
00:07:25,150 --> 00:07:27,320
Look, he's holding her boob.
121
00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:28,570
He is.
122
00:07:28,650 --> 00:07:32,450
No, man, they are.
I've had a subscription for, like, a year.
123
00:07:32,530 --> 00:07:34,200
That'll be good.
124
00:07:35,490 --> 00:07:37,240
That's not a cologne ad.
125
00:07:37,330 --> 00:07:40,830
I've used that exact issue
more times than I can count.
126
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:46,000
You smell pretty.
127
00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:51,590
- Sorry.
- That was so uncalled for.
128
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:57,680
- Wow.
- Is this Erik Stifler's room?
129
00:07:58,600 --> 00:07:59,850
Yeah.
130
00:08:06,190 --> 00:08:08,280
Welcome to college, boys.
131
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,030
Yeah. No, I wouldn't lie to you.
I'm dead serious.
132
00:08:12,030 --> 00:08:15,030
Most sororities won't even give you a bid
unless you've had a threesome.
133
00:08:15,030 --> 00:08:17,200
It shows that you work well
within the group dynamic,
134
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:18,870
and that you're really prepared
for sisterhood.
135
00:08:18,870 --> 00:08:19,830
You know what I'm saying?
136
00:08:19,910 --> 00:08:21,460
- Really?
- Yeah.
137
00:08:21,540 --> 00:08:22,790
Oh, man. Who is this guy?
138
00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:25,500
Dude, he's the reason we came
to college here.
139
00:08:28,210 --> 00:08:29,420
Here we are, boys.
140
00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:31,470
Oh, man, she's hot.
141
00:08:32,050 --> 00:08:33,420
- You like that?
- That was awesome.
142
00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:36,550
I like to give a little bit back
every now and then.
143
00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:39,470
- Hey, hey, shower buddy!
- Oh, hey. Hi.
144
00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:40,770
Shower buddy?
145
00:08:40,850 --> 00:08:43,810
Yeah, Erik and I met
when I was showering this afternoon.
146
00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:45,940
- Really?
- Yeah.
147
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:47,980
Oh, right, the coed bathrooms. Yeah.
148
00:08:47,980 --> 00:08:50,020
It took me about three years
to get the board of trustees
149
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,320
to approve that one. Worth it.
150
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:54,070
Oh, Ashley, hi. This...
151
00:08:54,150 --> 00:08:56,740
Everyone, this is Ashley.
Ashley, this is everyone.
152
00:08:56,820 --> 00:08:57,920
Hi, everybody.
153
00:08:57,950 --> 00:09:00,830
This is my roommate, Denise.
She just came here from Georgia.
154
00:09:00,910 --> 00:09:02,580
Hey, y'all.
155
00:09:02,660 --> 00:09:06,000
Well, I do declare,
a real life Scarlett O'Hara.
156
00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:07,180
Oh, my.
157
00:09:07,250 --> 00:09:08,920
Well, hey, you guys aren't taking off,
are you?
158
00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:12,240
Yeah, we're going to this cocktail mixer
at the Epsilon Sigma Kappa House.
159
00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:15,340
Oh, no, no, no. The Geek House?
No, trust me.
160
00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:18,050
- I wanna stay but...
- But we promised, so...
161
00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:21,680
Plus, Ashley thinks this party
is a little bit déclassé.
162
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:22,980
What? Like sleazy?
163
00:09:23,060 --> 00:09:25,940
Hey, baby. How you doing, sweetheart?
Grab a beer.
164
00:09:26,020 --> 00:09:27,730
No, you got the wrong idea
about this whole thing.
165
00:09:27,730 --> 00:09:30,610
Look, this is just a little meet and greet
that I set up to, sort of,
166
00:09:30,610 --> 00:09:32,280
you know, demonstrate our school spirit
167
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,820
and our, you know,
dedication to this university.
168
00:09:34,900 --> 00:09:36,950
Beta House fucking rules!
169
00:09:45,620 --> 00:09:47,040
Real classy.
170
00:09:48,330 --> 00:09:50,290
- Erik, it was really nice to see you again.
- Yeah.
171
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,210
- Guys, till next time.
- Yeah, see you.
172
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:53,630
- Bye, guys.
- Bye.
173
00:09:53,710 --> 00:09:55,550
- It's nice to meet you.
- See you.
174
00:09:55,630 --> 00:09:58,550
Hey, Stifler,
what's up with this Geek House?
175
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,050
Yeah, I never even heard of it.
176
00:10:00,050 --> 00:10:04,980
I know a Geek house sounds harmless,
but they are a nightmare.
177
00:10:05,850 --> 00:10:07,350
They were a social club for decades,
178
00:10:07,350 --> 00:10:10,520
till a group of rich geeks came in
and threw some money around,
179
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,230
built the house, got a new charter.
180
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:13,730
A geek fraternity?
181
00:10:13,820 --> 00:10:15,990
To get in,
you need, like, perfect SAT scores.
182
00:10:16,070 --> 00:10:18,200
Transfer $2 million to my Swiss account.
183
00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:21,870
Then they check your family tree
and calculate future earnings potential.
184
00:10:21,950 --> 00:10:25,620
No, I said buy at 60, not sell at 60.
You're fucking fired!
185
00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:27,460
They got billionaire alumni.
186
00:10:27,540 --> 00:10:28,830
Hey, it's only 100 grand.
187
00:10:29,330 --> 00:10:33,750
They run the student government,
and the faculty loves them.
188
00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:36,840
But don't even get me started
on the women.
189
00:10:37,550 --> 00:10:41,390
They attract the hottest women
from the entire school.
190
00:10:42,390 --> 00:10:45,390
Who wants to hang out
with a house full of geeks?
191
00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:47,430
It's a new world out there.
192
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:50,380
These women realize that the geeks
are gonna be the millionaires
193
00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:51,940
right out of school.
194
00:10:52,020 --> 00:10:54,270
They've just adjusted
their nesting habits.
195
00:10:57,440 --> 00:11:00,410
Hey, don't sweat it.
Beta's still where the party's at, right?
196
00:11:00,490 --> 00:11:05,990
Look out!
Stifler, the judging's about to begin.
197
00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:09,810
Judging?
198
00:11:19,050 --> 00:11:22,010
Oh, the Beta House never disappoints.
199
00:11:22,090 --> 00:11:25,600
- Are you serious? It's always like this?
- All the time.
200
00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:29,180
- These girls are ridiculous.
- Ridiculous.
201
00:11:29,270 --> 00:11:30,940
Get the clipboard.
202
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:40,860
Sweetie, you are naughty.
I am keeping you after class.
203
00:11:41,860 --> 00:11:45,160
Bring that ruler. I've also been bad.
204
00:11:46,410 --> 00:11:48,370
And this one over here's got great abs.
205
00:11:48,450 --> 00:11:51,500
They look like fresh buttered rolls
right out of the oven.
206
00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:54,210
This is the best idea I've ever had!
207
00:11:56,960 --> 00:12:00,510
- No, I just... I can't handle it.
- This is chicken scratch. You're a caveman.
208
00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:12,600
She's pulling them out.
She's pulling them out.
209
00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:18,530
Perfect 10!
210
00:12:22,780 --> 00:12:24,820
- Beta! Beta!
- Beta! Beta!
211
00:12:27,620 --> 00:12:32,120
Ladies and gentlemen,
depravity is haunting this university.
212
00:12:32,660 --> 00:12:37,210
Sex, alcohol, vulgarity, stupidity.
213
00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:41,760
Once, this was a respected institution
of higher learning.
214
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:44,970
We are declaring a new age
at this university.
215
00:12:45,050 --> 00:12:46,470
An age in which a student's worth
216
00:12:46,470 --> 00:12:49,220
is no longer measured
by his blood alcohol level,
217
00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:52,140
but rather, his GPA.
218
00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:57,190
We formed this fraternity to change the way
geeks are thought of in this country.
219
00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:01,440
But as history has proven,
220
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:04,490
for a new civilization to emerge,
221
00:13:04,570 --> 00:13:07,320
another must crumble.
222
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,870
We must destroy the Betas.
223
00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:23,090
Hey, Stacey, my hands are wet.
I can't get this beer open.
224
00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:24,510
Will you do it for me?
225
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:34,390
Thanks. Those Kegel muscle exercises
are really paying off, huh?
226
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,020
So what do we have to do to become Betas?
227
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,770
Well, obviously,
you guys are cool with me.
228
00:13:39,860 --> 00:13:42,270
What you need to do
is impress the rush chair, Wesley.
229
00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:43,530
- Have you guys met Wesley?
- Uh-uh.
230
00:13:43,530 --> 00:13:45,030
You haven't? All right.
He's in the other room.
231
00:13:45,030 --> 00:13:46,800
Come on, I'll introduce you. Follow me.
232
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,750
Don't be fooled by his appearance.
233
00:13:54,830 --> 00:13:58,080
His nickname is the Blackout Menace.
234
00:13:58,170 --> 00:13:59,170
He's a perfect student,
235
00:13:59,250 --> 00:14:01,420
except for his habit
of getting belligerently drunk,
236
00:14:01,420 --> 00:14:04,670
blacking out,
causing complete and total mayhem,
237
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,590
and never remembering a thing.
238
00:14:18,310 --> 00:14:21,190
Excuse me. Where is this plane going to?
239
00:14:21,730 --> 00:14:23,070
Detroit.
240
00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:25,860
Thank God.
241
00:14:28,150 --> 00:14:31,660
All right, excuse me.
Where is it coming from?
242
00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:33,080
Bangkok.
243
00:14:35,830 --> 00:14:39,790
- Whose kid is that?
- Yours. You adopted him yesterday.
244
00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:42,540
Congratulations.
245
00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:46,360
Hey, buddy.
246
00:14:48,630 --> 00:14:50,220
Are you serious?
247
00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:54,260
Yep, just dropped Sung Lee off
at their embassy this last week.
248
00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:57,600
Kid nearly caused
an international incident.
249
00:14:57,810 --> 00:14:59,140
Wesley!
250
00:14:59,850 --> 00:15:03,820
Sorry to interrupt.
Wesley, this is my cousin and his buddies.
251
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:05,690
- Hi.
- Hey.
252
00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:07,190
- Erik, right?
- Yeah.
253
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:10,410
Mike Coozeman.
How come we didn't see you last year?
254
00:15:10,490 --> 00:15:13,780
I was in a Mexican jail.
I had to tunnel my way out.
255
00:15:13,870 --> 00:15:18,000
But I made it back in time for finals
which is what we're all about here at Beta,
256
00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:19,580
education.
257
00:15:20,330 --> 00:15:21,430
Right.
258
00:15:21,460 --> 00:15:23,130
- You wanna dance?
- Yeah.
259
00:15:24,380 --> 00:15:25,960
Let's get sexy.
260
00:15:28,130 --> 00:15:29,880
Hey, you ready?
261
00:15:29,970 --> 00:15:33,550
There's a hundred hot horny chicks
here tonight. I'm counting on you.
262
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:54,950
Get some, baby! Get some!
263
00:16:10,340 --> 00:16:13,930
Call me irresponsible
264
00:16:14,010 --> 00:16:17,350
Call me unreliable
265
00:16:18,180 --> 00:16:20,430
Oh, you gotta be kidding me!
266
00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:26,110
Are you gonna start drinking?
Because I desperately need a wing man.
267
00:16:26,190 --> 00:16:29,820
No, I'm not drinking tonight, Bull.
I had a rough night last week.
268
00:16:29,900 --> 00:16:32,950
Oh, really? Really? That's fine.
269
00:16:34,030 --> 00:16:36,370
Because then I just might have
to tell these fine, young ladies
270
00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:40,120
about a certain frat boy
and a Mexican transvestite!
271
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:41,660
All right, all right, all right.
272
00:16:42,830 --> 00:16:44,210
One drink.
273
00:16:45,330 --> 00:16:47,000
Yeah, just one.
274
00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:10,230
What the hell's with you, man?
275
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:13,610
Can you not see all this prime ass
a foot from your face?
276
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:15,950
Yeah, man, I see. It's...
It's pretty cool.
277
00:17:16,030 --> 00:17:18,990
Yeah, it's cool.
You should be tearing it up!
278
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,040
You guys, it's just...
279
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:22,490
Remember last year? We came up here,
I had the time of my life.
280
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:25,870
You know, I did stuff I never would
have dreamed I would've ever done,
281
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:27,540
and I kind of figured it would change me.
282
00:17:27,540 --> 00:17:30,460
Yeah, okay.
So you got drunk and you ran naked, right?
283
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,840
But you blew it
with a really hot sorority chick
284
00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:35,130
to run home and have sex
with your little girlfriend.
285
00:17:35,130 --> 00:17:37,340
Yeah, Erik. That stunt might
have won you points in high school,
286
00:17:37,340 --> 00:17:39,350
- but this isn't high school.
- No.
287
00:17:39,430 --> 00:17:40,720
I guess you guys are right.
288
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:43,730
Listen, college is your one chance
to start over. Okay?
289
00:17:43,810 --> 00:17:47,270
You get to hit the reset button on life.
You get to be anybody you wanna be.
290
00:17:47,350 --> 00:17:51,400
- Never thought of it like that before.
- Yeah. Here, slug that.
291
00:17:54,860 --> 00:17:57,820
- That a boy. Julie, this is my cousin, Erik.
- Hey.
292
00:17:57,950 --> 00:18:00,910
I just wanted you to know Erik voted
for you in the hottie contest,
293
00:18:00,910 --> 00:18:03,230
and since he's, like,
the ladies' man of the family,
294
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,290
I totally trust his taste.
295
00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:07,000
Thanks, cutie.
296
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:10,000
- You want to dance, gorgeous?
- I'd love to.
297
00:18:10,630 --> 00:18:13,510
Anybody you wanna be. Yeah.
298
00:18:24,310 --> 00:18:27,060
Wow, you can really put that away.
299
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:29,520
You kidding me?
This stuff is like water to me.
300
00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:37,950
Hey, hey, everybody,
settle down for a second!
301
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,240
We're just having
a little, minor technical glitch.
302
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,870
No big deal.
We'll get everything fixed up in a minute.
303
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,750
I don't think so, Stifler!
304
00:18:46,830 --> 00:18:50,250
You see,
you overloaded your prehistoric circuits.
305
00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:53,330
I'm afraid your music won't be coming on
for the rest of the night.
306
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:56,590
Don't... Don't listen to him.
We'll get everything fixed in a minute.
307
00:18:56,670 --> 00:18:59,430
That won't matter
because by Jake's calculations,
308
00:18:59,510 --> 00:19:01,760
based on the amount
of kegs and liquor you bought,
309
00:19:01,850 --> 00:19:05,100
you should be running out, just about now.
310
00:19:05,180 --> 00:19:07,890
- Bullshit.
- The fucking kegs are dry!
311
00:19:09,350 --> 00:19:11,600
We're out of fucking booze!
312
00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:14,940
I know!
313
00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:17,360
Settle down! It's fine.
We'll make a beer run.
314
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:18,950
They could do that,
315
00:19:19,030 --> 00:19:23,450
or you can all come to the Geek House where
we have enough liquor to last a week,
316
00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:26,370
along with all the champagne
you can drink.
317
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:32,040
We also have a heated pool
and enough swimsuits for everyone.
318
00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:34,420
That is, if you even want to wear one.
319
00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:35,670
Yeah!
320
00:19:39,420 --> 00:19:41,470
Are you fucking kidding me?
321
00:19:41,550 --> 00:19:43,340
Oh, it's your choice, people.
322
00:19:43,430 --> 00:19:45,930
- Stay here and get puked on...
- Okay, I'm out of here.
323
00:19:46,010 --> 00:19:48,730
- So sorry...
- Or come party, VIP style.
324
00:19:48,810 --> 00:19:50,390
All right!
325
00:20:01,610 --> 00:20:03,160
Fucking Edgar.
326
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:07,830
Prick really knows how
to throw that money around, huh?
327
00:20:07,910 --> 00:20:09,580
Oh, yeah.
328
00:20:09,660 --> 00:20:12,750
Oh, but it doesn't help that numbnuts here
barfed all over the chicks, either.
329
00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:14,250
Yeah.
330
00:20:14,330 --> 00:20:17,420
- Sorry about that.
- You look disgusting.
331
00:20:19,550 --> 00:20:23,430
- Erik, for crying out loud, man!
- I'll clean it up.
332
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:33,020
Not again.
333
00:20:37,610 --> 00:20:39,110
Morning, sexy.
334
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,360
Some party, huh?
335
00:20:44,450 --> 00:20:46,870
Hey, baby. How you doing?
336
00:20:48,990 --> 00:20:50,540
No. No, no, no.
337
00:20:53,580 --> 00:20:55,710
How you feeling there, cuz?
338
00:20:56,290 --> 00:20:58,500
A lot better. Thanks.
339
00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:01,210
No need for thanks, we're family.
340
00:21:01,300 --> 00:21:03,170
Right now, I gotta run.
I gotta go down to the basement,
341
00:21:03,170 --> 00:21:05,550
take care of some official Beta business.
342
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:08,050
- Have some of Peaches' eggs.
- Okay.
343
00:21:08,140 --> 00:21:10,100
All right. Thanks, Peaches.
344
00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:12,870
Oh, buddy.
345
00:21:17,020 --> 00:21:19,110
- I love this place.
- That a boy!
346
00:21:19,190 --> 00:21:21,570
- Yeah.
- Off the hook! Work it!
347
00:21:21,650 --> 00:21:23,440
So, guys, the hard-on champ is in?
348
00:21:23,530 --> 00:21:24,630
- Yeah!
- All right.
349
00:21:24,650 --> 00:21:26,160
Aye, aye.
350
00:21:29,910 --> 00:21:31,950
Yeah, I love this guy.
351
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:33,910
Beta? I love Beta!
352
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:36,960
He had the best rack at the party...
353
00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:38,920
I fucking love Beta, baby!
354
00:21:40,170 --> 00:21:42,340
Shut up! Shut up! Everyone calm down.
355
00:21:42,420 --> 00:21:43,840
I told you I didn't want to drink.
356
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:46,550
Look how the pig squeals!
Look how the pig squeals!
357
00:21:46,630 --> 00:21:48,340
All in favor of Bobby Coolidge?
358
00:21:48,430 --> 00:21:49,600
- Everyone.
- Aye, aye.
359
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:51,010
- Aye, aye.
- Aye, aye.
360
00:21:53,390 --> 00:21:55,350
All right, all right.
361
00:21:56,310 --> 00:21:58,230
- Oh, man!
- Jesus!
362
00:21:59,190 --> 00:22:00,440
Holy crap! Wow!
363
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,110
Man, this guy really knows
how to work a room.
364
00:22:03,190 --> 00:22:05,570
Give him a bid.
He'll be a pussy magnet, buddy.
365
00:22:05,650 --> 00:22:07,240
Yeah!
366
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:11,990
Oh, no!
367
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:16,000
Hey, hey, hey!
All right, that's my cousin. Take it easy.
368
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:20,790
No offense, brother, okay? But I don't know
if your cousin is up for the challenge, man.
369
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:24,090
I'm with Bull on this one.
I mean, he's a nice kid,
370
00:22:24,170 --> 00:22:26,970
but he passed up sleeping
with Brandy, man.
371
00:22:27,050 --> 00:22:28,760
All right, all right, all right.
372
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,720
Look, I know Erik missed his big chance
to, like, sleep with the one girl
373
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:34,720
that, I'm assuming, everybody in this room
would lop off your left nut to bang.
374
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:36,350
- Am I right?
- Two nuts.
375
00:22:36,430 --> 00:22:38,060
All right, does that mean
he's not Beta material?
376
00:22:38,060 --> 00:22:39,650
- Yes!
- Yeah!
377
00:22:39,730 --> 00:22:44,190
He was young and dumb and in love.
He's a... He's a late bloomer.
378
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:46,230
I think he's gonna surprise you
this semester.
379
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:48,740
And anyway, he's a legacy,
so he's automatically getting a bid.
380
00:22:48,740 --> 00:22:50,700
So you can all fuck off.
381
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,280
- Aye.
- Aye, aye!
382
00:22:53,370 --> 00:22:55,540
Yeah, that's what I thought, bitches.
383
00:23:03,210 --> 00:23:05,250
- Hey, you.
- Hi.
384
00:23:05,340 --> 00:23:08,420
- We have to stop meeting like this.
- Yeah.
385
00:23:11,180 --> 00:23:14,760
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I just had a really rough night.
386
00:23:16,430 --> 00:23:20,440
You know, I think Denise has
a crush on your friend, Cooze.
387
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:22,270
She thinks he's sweet.
388
00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:25,230
- Denise thinks Cooze is sweet?
- Yeah.
389
00:23:30,950 --> 00:23:32,450
- Wait, actually...
- Erik, I...
390
00:23:32,530 --> 00:23:35,790
- I was thinking...
- Look, I'm just thinking...
391
00:23:35,870 --> 00:23:38,960
- Do you wanna go out with me once?
- Yeah.
392
00:23:39,210 --> 00:23:42,380
- Really?
- Yeah. That would be really nice.
393
00:23:42,460 --> 00:23:45,880
Okay, keep...
You have really pretty teeth, by the way.
394
00:24:01,270 --> 00:24:02,600
What's going on?
395
00:24:02,690 --> 00:24:04,480
Oh, man. This sucks.
396
00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:08,150
Hey, guys. Don't go that way.
This way's quicker.
397
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:12,280
I was just dreaming
about this great sandwich.
398
00:24:16,780 --> 00:24:20,410
- Wait a second. Where are we?
- I don't see any sandwiches here.
399
00:24:20,500 --> 00:24:23,500
Hey, guys. You wanna see something?
400
00:24:26,710 --> 00:24:28,710
- Yes.
- That is...
401
00:24:45,350 --> 00:24:46,860
Gentlemen,
402
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:50,690
today is the first day
of the rest of your lives.
403
00:24:50,780 --> 00:24:55,950
You are the select few who have
been chosen to pledge the Beta House.
404
00:24:56,030 --> 00:24:57,660
Beta, baby!
405
00:25:00,750 --> 00:25:06,130
Now, most fraternities do the pledging
thing a little bit differently than we do.
406
00:25:06,210 --> 00:25:10,550
Most pledging consists
of hate-filled mental and physical hazing
407
00:25:10,630 --> 00:25:12,130
designed to break you down.
408
00:25:12,220 --> 00:25:14,010
But here at Beta,
409
00:25:14,090 --> 00:25:19,470
I, Dwight Stifler, your pledge master,
have devised an elaborate scientific plan
410
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:22,680
to build teamwork and brotherhood.
411
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:27,400
Gentlemen, I give you your pledge board.
412
00:25:31,030 --> 00:25:33,190
On this pledge board are 50 tasks
413
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:36,410
that you and your pledge brothers
must complete by semester's end
414
00:25:36,490 --> 00:25:38,240
if you want to become Betas.
415
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:40,450
To start things off,
416
00:25:40,540 --> 00:25:44,460
I say we begin with my personal favorite,
number 37.
417
00:25:54,420 --> 00:25:55,670
Okay, so here's the low-down.
418
00:25:55,680 --> 00:26:01,720
One of you has got to get your ass signed
by a stripper with photo proof. All right?
419
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:04,100
All right, we're gonna go get a drink.
420
00:26:04,100 --> 00:26:05,200
- Wesley...
- Yeah.
421
00:26:05,230 --> 00:26:07,350
Don't bother us.
422
00:26:09,770 --> 00:26:12,280
Okay, who's gonna try and do this?
423
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:17,740
Oh, you guys, I got this. Who's got a pen?
That'll do.
424
00:26:21,450 --> 00:26:25,040
Hey, baby, how's about signing my ass
while I'm up here?
425
00:26:32,630 --> 00:26:34,860
- She got Cooze! We gotta help him!
- Wait, Bobby.
426
00:26:36,670 --> 00:26:38,630
Down goes fatty!
427
00:26:40,550 --> 00:26:42,560
Stripper brawl!
428
00:26:45,100 --> 00:26:47,180
Stifler, we need some help!
429
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:50,350
Oh, cousin got clothes-lined.
That's a shame.
430
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:56,690
That's gonna leave a big bruise.
431
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:03,620
Those girls are wild tonight.
432
00:27:05,870 --> 00:27:08,660
I used to fuck girls like you in prison.
433
00:27:10,830 --> 00:27:14,460
- Oh, I love a good stripper brawl.
- Who doesn't?
434
00:27:15,670 --> 00:27:19,340
- She started it!
- Here's your fuckin' shoe!
435
00:27:19,970 --> 00:27:21,550
What? I didn't do anything.
436
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,800
You charged that stripper with a pen
like you were going to shove it in her ass.
437
00:27:24,810 --> 00:27:26,680
Maybe if her panties
smelled like waffles,
438
00:27:26,770 --> 00:27:28,100
then you would have done something...
439
00:27:28,100 --> 00:27:29,310
Guys, shut up. Shut up!
440
00:27:29,390 --> 00:27:31,100
- Fat. Say it, dude.
- Fat idiot?
441
00:27:32,310 --> 00:27:33,270
There you go.
Bad things happen to...
442
00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:37,320
- Hey there, gorgeous. You work here?
- Yeah, sweetie.
443
00:27:37,490 --> 00:27:39,670
You see,
we're pledging the Beta House right now,
444
00:27:39,740 --> 00:27:43,280
and one of our tasks
is to get our ass signed by a...
445
00:27:43,370 --> 00:27:46,040
A professional dancer like yourself.
446
00:27:46,120 --> 00:27:49,870
So I was just, you know, wondering
if maybe you'd do me the honor?
447
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:53,630
That's a different approach
than the boys usually take in this place.
448
00:27:53,710 --> 00:27:55,840
- Bend over.
- Thanks.
449
00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:57,630
My name's Erik Stifler, by the way.
450
00:27:57,710 --> 00:28:00,130
Let me get one for the year book.
451
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:04,860
Nice smile.
452
00:28:04,890 --> 00:28:08,140
- You have any relation to Dwight Stifler?
- He's my cousin.
453
00:28:08,220 --> 00:28:11,020
- Hey, Stifler.
- Candy. How are you, sweetheart?
454
00:28:11,100 --> 00:28:12,690
Good to see you.
455
00:28:12,770 --> 00:28:15,360
I can see where he gets his charm from.
456
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:18,690
- You come see me soon, okay?
- You know I will.
457
00:28:18,780 --> 00:28:21,650
All right, boys.
Hey, congratulations. Task 37.
458
00:28:21,740 --> 00:28:23,820
- In the bag! Done!
- Yeah.
459
00:28:23,950 --> 00:28:27,330
Good job, boys.
That's our first task completed.
460
00:28:27,660 --> 00:28:30,660
I think that stripper's
implant broke my face.
461
00:28:42,090 --> 00:28:43,190
Task 15 is go.
462
00:28:49,270 --> 00:28:50,640
Steal an ostrich.
463
00:28:50,730 --> 00:28:53,890
- Have sex in the dean's office.
- Serenade a woman at the 901.
464
00:28:53,980 --> 00:28:57,770
- Drink a gallon of milk without pissing.
- Do a traditional dance at the international.
465
00:28:57,770 --> 00:29:00,730
- Open an illegal casino.
- Drive down to Mexico and get a tattoo.
466
00:29:00,740 --> 00:29:03,400
Get so drunk, you piss your pants.
467
00:29:37,230 --> 00:29:39,150
Sweet Caesar's ghost!
468
00:29:46,990 --> 00:29:49,620
Fifteen, check.
469
00:29:49,700 --> 00:29:51,830
Sixteen, check.
470
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:14,520
- Who's that guy?
- He's my Swahili instructor.
471
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:16,600
I have my proficiency exam next week.
472
00:30:16,690 --> 00:30:18,150
- Nice!
- Yeah.
473
00:30:18,230 --> 00:30:21,900
Hey, what's...
What's this golden hammer doing in here?
474
00:30:21,980 --> 00:30:24,570
It's from the Greek Olympiad.
475
00:30:24,650 --> 00:30:28,110
It was, like, a series of competitions
involving skill and deviant behavior.
476
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:31,280
They got really out of hand,
so the university banned them for life.
477
00:30:31,370 --> 00:30:33,540
The Betas were legendary at them, though.
We never lost.
478
00:30:33,540 --> 00:30:35,540
- Cool. Yeah.
- Yeah.
479
00:30:35,870 --> 00:30:38,210
Oh, and remember, Erik...
480
00:30:46,510 --> 00:30:47,720
Yeah.
481
00:30:51,970 --> 00:30:53,070
Swahili.
482
00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:57,310
- This place is swell, isn't it?
- Yeah.
483
00:30:57,390 --> 00:30:58,770
Look at how juicy.
484
00:30:59,850 --> 00:31:01,520
Sucking the crab? Wow.
485
00:31:01,610 --> 00:31:04,400
- This place is fun.
- Yeah. Yeah, this place is awesome.
486
00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:06,570
I thought you'd like it here, you know.
487
00:31:07,950 --> 00:31:09,700
I like this mallet.
488
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:15,910
- Oh, my God. Are you okay? Here.
- It's all right.
489
00:31:16,870 --> 00:31:18,410
It doesn't really taste that bad.
490
00:31:19,580 --> 00:31:22,500
Dude, I'm telling you,
this chick can't get enough of me.
491
00:31:22,590 --> 00:31:24,460
I did her again last night!
492
00:31:24,550 --> 00:31:27,510
Oh, I can't believe that. You're the man!
493
00:31:27,590 --> 00:31:29,130
I think I know that girl.
494
00:31:29,220 --> 00:31:31,350
You know,
not all frat guys are like those guys.
495
00:31:31,430 --> 00:31:33,850
I know. I guess I just
have a jaded opinion.
496
00:31:33,930 --> 00:31:35,850
Really? Why's that?
497
00:31:35,930 --> 00:31:37,850
It's just the typical story.
498
00:31:37,930 --> 00:31:40,810
Boy meets girl.
Boy goes off to college, joins a frat,
499
00:31:40,900 --> 00:31:42,670
starts sleeping with every girl he can.
500
00:31:42,730 --> 00:31:45,980
Girl finds out
and dumps his ass during winter break.
501
00:31:46,730 --> 00:31:49,030
But that was high school.
I'm much older and wiser now.
502
00:31:49,030 --> 00:31:53,370
Right, older and wiser. And you're on a date
with a guy who's pledging a frat.
503
00:31:53,450 --> 00:31:55,990
I know, and I'm watching you.
504
00:31:56,620 --> 00:31:57,720
- Dine and ditch.
- Yeah.
505
00:31:57,790 --> 00:31:59,790
That's, like,
one of my favorite plays of...
506
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,630
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God! Are you okay?
507
00:32:03,790 --> 00:32:05,210
Little help here!
508
00:32:10,220 --> 00:32:12,300
You are just the sweetest.
509
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:16,350
You just bring it out in me, babe.
510
00:32:20,020 --> 00:32:22,270
- Perfect.
- Yeah?
511
00:32:26,150 --> 00:32:29,990
- Careful, my feet are real sensitive.
- Really?
512
00:32:39,660 --> 00:32:41,000
Oh, my.
513
00:32:42,670 --> 00:32:45,000
I love foot massages.
514
00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:50,010
Oh, my!
515
00:33:03,190 --> 00:33:04,690
I can't!
516
00:33:12,030 --> 00:33:14,950
- I'm sorry.
- No, that's cool.
517
00:33:15,570 --> 00:33:17,780
It's totally fine, really.
518
00:33:19,410 --> 00:33:24,250
Here, let me just take care of you.
519
00:33:25,500 --> 00:33:26,880
Okay.
520
00:33:37,180 --> 00:33:39,390
- You like that?
- God, yeah.
521
00:33:40,010 --> 00:33:42,220
You do that almost as good as I do.
522
00:33:50,900 --> 00:33:52,690
How're you feeling?
523
00:33:52,940 --> 00:33:55,900
Hey. Good, thanks.
524
00:33:55,990 --> 00:33:57,260
- Here, let me see.
- Oh, no.
525
00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:59,160
No, no. Ashley, it's...
You really don't need to do anything.
526
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:01,620
Oh, my God, Erik.
You have to put something on that.
527
00:34:01,700 --> 00:34:03,660
No, it's just a little red.
528
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:05,750
Here, let me.
529
00:34:08,250 --> 00:34:10,420
It's really not necessary...
530
00:34:13,090 --> 00:34:15,760
- Does it hurt?
- No, it's just really cold.
531
00:34:17,720 --> 00:34:20,760
- Does that feel better?
- Yeah.
532
00:34:26,100 --> 00:34:27,810
- Oh, man!
- I didn't even touch it.
533
00:34:28,650 --> 00:34:29,900
No, it's no big deal.
534
00:34:29,980 --> 00:34:32,110
I guess I should just
take it as a compliment, right?
535
00:34:32,110 --> 00:34:34,860
- I'm sorry. Yeah. I'm sorry.
- It's cool.
536
00:34:36,740 --> 00:34:38,780
Wow, that cream feels good.
537
00:34:39,620 --> 00:34:41,490
Ash, you might wanna...
538
00:34:41,580 --> 00:34:42,870
Just relax.
539
00:34:43,410 --> 00:34:44,700
It's still hot.
540
00:35:13,230 --> 00:35:15,690
Oh, my God! Mr. Biggles!
541
00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:28,830
- This is really, really embarrassing.
- No, it's okay. It's okay.
542
00:35:28,910 --> 00:35:32,250
I just haven't seen anything like that.
543
00:35:32,330 --> 00:35:35,170
Well, I was a virgin until last year,
544
00:35:35,250 --> 00:35:39,800
and then my girlfriend dumped me
about four months ago.
545
00:35:41,050 --> 00:35:45,060
Okay. Wait, wait, wait.
Are you telling me that you haven't...
546
00:35:46,140 --> 00:35:47,890
In four months?
547
00:35:47,980 --> 00:35:53,520
Well, you see, there was this incident
that made masturbation
548
00:35:55,020 --> 00:35:58,070
very taboo in my household.
549
00:35:58,490 --> 00:36:01,820
Well, you have more self-control
than most people.
550
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:05,200
I'm really sorry about Mr. Biggles.
551
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:07,370
Yeah.
552
00:36:12,290 --> 00:36:14,330
- Just a little... Right.
- No, it's...
553
00:36:16,630 --> 00:36:18,590
- Oh, baby, I love you.
- Whoa.
554
00:36:18,670 --> 00:36:20,550
Baby, why won't you tell me
you love me, too?
555
00:36:20,550 --> 00:36:24,640
- Hey, Bull. Have you seen Stifler?
- He's in a meeting.
556
00:36:24,720 --> 00:36:28,060
- What meeting would he be at?
- I don't know. Something important.
557
00:36:28,350 --> 00:36:30,810
And it was after my parents...
558
00:36:30,890 --> 00:36:35,270
Well, they had to fire
the fourth landscaping crew
559
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:39,480
because they caught me with them.
560
00:36:39,570 --> 00:36:44,240
And that's when I knew
that I had a problem.
561
00:36:44,910 --> 00:36:49,620
But I have been sex-free for two years now
562
00:36:49,700 --> 00:36:52,660
and, you know, never felt better.
563
00:36:59,590 --> 00:37:01,590
You are so brave.
564
00:37:03,930 --> 00:37:08,180
Get it in there! Yeah! Faster! Faster!
565
00:37:08,260 --> 00:37:11,930
- I'm going as fast as I can.
- Faster, bad boy!
566
00:37:15,100 --> 00:37:17,060
Faster, I said!
567
00:37:18,230 --> 00:37:20,100
- I think I'm gonna...
- It's gonna break!
568
00:37:21,190 --> 00:37:22,860
Yes! Yes!
569
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:24,500
God, yes.
570
00:37:27,490 --> 00:37:29,160
Oh, boy.
571
00:37:40,420 --> 00:37:41,840
You call yourself a man?
572
00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:45,260
Get back here and fuck me!
573
00:37:47,340 --> 00:37:51,310
Okay, okay. All right, listen.
I just did three times, okay?
574
00:37:51,390 --> 00:37:55,980
I'm gonna go get an icepack
and then I'll be right back.
575
00:37:56,060 --> 00:38:01,230
You know the secret,
icepacks are for pussies!
576
00:38:02,780 --> 00:38:05,990
Oh, your friend. He wants to come play!
577
00:38:06,070 --> 00:38:08,240
I'm going to see you again!
578
00:38:11,950 --> 00:38:13,830
- I'm a grizzly bear!
- You're bad.
579
00:38:13,910 --> 00:38:17,370
I'm gonna steal a picnic basket
full of orgasms.
580
00:38:18,500 --> 00:38:20,540
Okay, lay your head back.
Lay your head back.
581
00:38:20,630 --> 00:38:23,590
Ready? Are you ready for it?
Let's go, all right?
582
00:38:23,670 --> 00:38:28,760
Hands and feet inside the tram.
Next stop, penetration station, baby.
583
00:38:32,350 --> 00:38:34,100
Hey, get back here!
584
00:38:37,350 --> 00:38:39,060
Stifler, I forgot to tell you...
585
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:45,740
- Get your ass over here, punk.
- Okay.
586
00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:55,540
Oh, dude. On her teddy bear? Really?
587
00:38:55,830 --> 00:38:58,290
Dude, he hasn't busted a nut
in, like, four months.
588
00:38:58,370 --> 00:38:59,710
What do you think I should do?
589
00:38:59,710 --> 00:39:01,540
- Man, you gotta beat the bishop.
- Yeah.
590
00:39:01,630 --> 00:39:05,300
- You need to punch that clown. A lot.
- What are you talking about?
591
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:09,130
- You need to masturbate, dude. A lot.
- A lot.
592
00:39:09,220 --> 00:39:12,470
So next time you won't blow your load
when you're rounding first base.
593
00:39:12,550 --> 00:39:13,720
Yeah.
594
00:39:30,700 --> 00:39:32,780
Just gotta clean the pipes.
595
00:39:55,260 --> 00:39:57,310
- Who is it?
- Hey, it's Ashley.
596
00:39:57,390 --> 00:39:59,560
We were gonna hang out, remember?
597
00:40:01,350 --> 00:40:04,110
Yeah! Yeah, I remember.
598
00:40:04,190 --> 00:40:07,690
I... I lost track of time, Ashley.
I'll be right there.
599
00:40:07,780 --> 00:40:10,530
- Are you okay in there?
- Yeah.
600
00:40:10,610 --> 00:40:14,280
Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.
Just give me one second, okay?
601
00:40:14,950 --> 00:40:16,540
Erik, are you naked?
602
00:40:16,620 --> 00:40:19,330
Just putting on my t-shirt right now.
603
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:21,460
There it is.
604
00:40:23,710 --> 00:40:24,880
- Hi.
- Hi.
605
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:28,210
- Can I come in?
- No. No, the place is actually a mess.
606
00:40:28,300 --> 00:40:30,380
- Bobby's disgusting.
- Oh, yeah?
607
00:40:30,470 --> 00:40:33,470
- But I know a cool place we can go.
- Come on.
608
00:40:40,230 --> 00:40:44,020
All right. Right hand, yellow.
609
00:40:45,980 --> 00:40:47,690
I love this game.
610
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:50,990
Don't you fall or you're
losing those boxers.
611
00:40:51,070 --> 00:40:53,160
Oh, really?
612
00:40:56,450 --> 00:40:58,660
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
613
00:41:00,660 --> 00:41:02,160
- Hi.
- Hi.
614
00:41:19,010 --> 00:41:20,770
I'm sorry.
615
00:41:20,850 --> 00:41:25,020
- What? Are you a virgin or something or...
- No.
616
00:41:27,190 --> 00:41:30,820
It's just when I...
When I get too excited...
617
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:35,320
Oh, it's embarrassing.
618
00:41:40,540 --> 00:41:41,830
Here.
619
00:41:42,700 --> 00:41:45,870
- Let me just take care of you again.
- Okay.
620
00:41:51,300 --> 00:41:53,880
Oh, wait, wait, wait. Cheers, cheers.
621
00:41:58,220 --> 00:42:01,600
Let me get that for you.
A little spillage. No big deal.
622
00:42:09,060 --> 00:42:10,900
It's not gonna go off again, is it?
623
00:42:10,980 --> 00:42:14,530
Absolutely not. I've been practicing
my self-control a lot.
624
00:42:14,610 --> 00:42:16,070
A lot? Okay.
625
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:39,050
Come on.
626
00:42:39,140 --> 00:42:42,140
Oh, just how much have
you been working on your self-control?
627
00:42:43,890 --> 00:42:47,100
I'm really sorry. It's not working.
628
00:42:48,270 --> 00:42:51,480
My stupid friends,
they said that if I would...
629
00:42:51,570 --> 00:42:54,280
Erik, it's okay. It happens.
630
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:56,440
Wine?
631
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:07,790
All right, boys. We got a live one here.
632
00:43:07,790 --> 00:43:10,420
Two clicks north, three clicks east.
633
00:43:10,670 --> 00:43:12,710
All right, three clicks east.
634
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:17,130
Let's blast our big giant ones.
635
00:43:17,220 --> 00:43:18,970
Fire in the hole!
636
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:22,900
Direct hit!
637
00:43:24,060 --> 00:43:26,140
- Yes!
- Oh, my God.
638
00:43:29,730 --> 00:43:32,230
I love the smell
of boobies in the morning.
639
00:43:32,310 --> 00:43:34,650
Hey, so how's it going with Denise?
640
00:43:34,730 --> 00:43:40,740
Well, okay, so we hooked up
and she gave me a couple of hand jobs.
641
00:43:41,910 --> 00:43:43,010
Hand jobs?
642
00:43:43,030 --> 00:43:45,760
They're actually the best hand jobs
I've ever had in my life.
643
00:43:45,790 --> 00:43:48,160
- Oh, really?
- Shut up!
644
00:43:48,660 --> 00:43:52,830
The only problem is
I try to stick my hand down her pants,
645
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:55,090
she keeps... Pulls my hands away.
646
00:43:55,170 --> 00:43:56,760
She says she's embarrassed.
647
00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:02,050
- Maybe she has an abnormally large bush.
- Yeah, or maybe she's got a yeast infection.
648
00:44:03,220 --> 00:44:05,810
- Come on.
- Maybe she's got a dick.
649
00:44:07,020 --> 00:44:09,180
What? Crying Game? Boys Don't Cry?
650
00:44:09,270 --> 00:44:11,730
- That's based on true stories, boys.
- No.
651
00:44:11,810 --> 00:44:13,020
- Yeah.
- No, there's no way.
652
00:44:13,020 --> 00:44:14,750
Hey, man, maybe she's a hermaphrodite.
653
00:44:14,770 --> 00:44:17,440
Transvestite? A little Shanghai Surprise!
654
00:44:17,530 --> 00:44:18,690
Well, come on. You said yourself,
655
00:44:18,690 --> 00:44:21,610
she gives you the best hand jobs
you've ever had in your whole life. Right?
656
00:44:21,610 --> 00:44:22,610
Yeah, so?
657
00:44:22,700 --> 00:44:24,990
So, how do you think
she got so good at it?
658
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:27,870
Probably from working her own gear.
659
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:32,160
So you guys think that I might have been
hooking up with a dude this whole time?
660
00:44:32,170 --> 00:44:34,790
Maybe. There's only one way to find out.
661
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:37,340
You gotta get into those pants.
662
00:44:38,090 --> 00:44:41,380
Oh, wait. This is too perfect.
Load it up. Load it up, right now.
663
00:44:45,220 --> 00:44:46,390
- What the...
- Sorry!
664
00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:49,430
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
665
00:45:03,150 --> 00:45:05,280
I want you to go down on me, Cooze.
666
00:45:05,370 --> 00:45:07,830
Are you sure? Because I can wait.
667
00:45:07,910 --> 00:45:10,250
No, I want you down there now.
668
00:45:13,620 --> 00:45:15,630
That's it, Cooze.
669
00:45:23,630 --> 00:45:25,340
That's it, Cooze.
670
00:45:26,140 --> 00:45:27,240
Suck my cock!
671
00:45:27,300 --> 00:45:28,600
She's got a dick!
672
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:31,220
Are you okay?
673
00:45:32,270 --> 00:45:36,100
Oh, my God.
I just had the worst nightmare.
674
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:39,570
What was it about? Who's got a dick?
675
00:45:40,110 --> 00:45:41,280
I do.
676
00:45:51,240 --> 00:45:52,620
Oh, my God.
677
00:45:53,160 --> 00:45:54,620
I can't take this anymore.
678
00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:13,890
Hello?
679
00:46:14,430 --> 00:46:16,230
I thought you were gonna call me.
680
00:46:18,270 --> 00:46:20,150
Yeah. I fell asleep.
681
00:46:20,770 --> 00:46:21,870
I'm sorry.
682
00:46:22,940 --> 00:46:24,690
Were you dreaming about me?
683
00:46:25,570 --> 00:46:26,860
Maybe.
684
00:46:27,320 --> 00:46:29,490
Hey, can you hold on for one sec?
685
00:46:32,290 --> 00:46:33,830
Because this
686
00:46:35,790 --> 00:46:37,330
isn't a dream.
687
00:46:42,750 --> 00:46:45,670
Oh, God. That's not mine. That's Bobby's.
688
00:46:55,850 --> 00:46:57,350
That's not mine.
689
00:47:13,950 --> 00:47:16,290
Guys. What the hell are you doing?
690
00:47:16,370 --> 00:47:18,500
Number 33, baby.
691
00:47:18,580 --> 00:47:21,630
We got a chance to do number 33,
but we gotta go now.
692
00:47:21,710 --> 00:47:23,960
- Half-naked girl here.
- Sorry, Ashley.
693
00:47:24,050 --> 00:47:26,210
Dude, the manager just called.
He's got an opening.
694
00:47:26,210 --> 00:47:29,630
- We haven't even rehearsed for that bit yet.
- It's our only chance, man.
695
00:47:30,720 --> 00:47:31,970
Really?
696
00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:35,520
Ashley, it is Number 33.
697
00:47:36,270 --> 00:47:40,560
Maybe, we could just finish later
or something?
698
00:47:41,480 --> 00:47:42,580
It's cool.
699
00:47:44,820 --> 00:47:45,920
- Really?
- Mmm-hmm.
700
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:47,530
I'm coming with you.
701
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:51,360
- We rocked that place.
- Yeah!
702
00:47:51,450 --> 00:47:52,550
Awesome!
703
00:47:53,870 --> 00:47:57,580
Number 46, sex in the stacks. Chalk it up.
704
00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:03,590
Number 26, receive a golden shower.
705
00:48:03,670 --> 00:48:06,170
Number 27, perform a Cleveland steamer.
706
00:48:06,250 --> 00:48:07,760
- Check.
- Oh, man.
707
00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:09,880
Get a panda in the grotto.
708
00:48:09,970 --> 00:48:12,550
- Thirty, get a blumpkin.
- Oh, you didn't.
709
00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:15,430
After corned beef. It was disgusting.
710
00:48:15,510 --> 00:48:17,650
- All right. Yeah. That was pretty good.
- Yeah!
711
00:48:17,720 --> 00:48:20,480
By the power granted to me
by the great country of Canada,
712
00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:23,310
I now pronounce you life partners.
713
00:48:25,060 --> 00:48:26,940
Would you like to seal it with a kiss?
714
00:48:27,030 --> 00:48:28,030
- No.
- Yes.
715
00:48:28,110 --> 00:48:30,320
Number 41. Make it official.
716
00:48:33,360 --> 00:48:34,460
Because I'm a gentleman.
717
00:48:36,660 --> 00:48:39,450
Wow. You boys are such an inspiration.
718
00:48:41,660 --> 00:48:43,670
I think it's time we do
a little mid-semester celebrating.
719
00:48:43,670 --> 00:48:46,040
- What do you think?
- Yes. Definitely.
720
00:48:56,050 --> 00:48:59,100
Stifler, I'm afraid I gotta
see everyone's IDs.
721
00:48:59,180 --> 00:49:02,390
- What?
- Come on, Manny. You're joking, right?
722
00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:04,060
I'm afraid not.
723
00:49:04,150 --> 00:49:06,560
You see, the new ownership
of this establishment
724
00:49:06,650 --> 00:49:08,360
doesn't condone underage drinking.
725
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:11,900
Officers, please escort these minors
from the premises.
726
00:49:12,780 --> 00:49:14,320
- Can I touch your gun?
- All right, okay. We're going.
727
00:49:14,320 --> 00:49:17,330
- Bye-bye.
- You're fucking with traditions, Edgar.
728
00:49:17,410 --> 00:49:21,450
I'm not just fucking with your traditions,
I'm tearing them down.
729
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:24,500
Take him away.
730
00:49:27,170 --> 00:49:29,670
You know, you are way too classy,
731
00:49:29,750 --> 00:49:33,840
and have way too nice of a body to be
hanging out with a douche bag like that.
732
00:49:35,470 --> 00:49:37,760
Don't listen to him, honey.
Your body isn't that great.
733
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:39,490
I'll have a gimlet, please. Thank you.
734
00:49:41,430 --> 00:49:42,560
Stifler.
735
00:49:42,640 --> 00:49:44,270
- What?
- Your lawyer's here.
736
00:49:44,350 --> 00:49:46,690
Excellent. Thanks, Marty. Send him in.
737
00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:49,070
You have a lawyer?
738
00:49:51,690 --> 00:49:53,740
Thanks for coming. I'm glad you got here.
739
00:49:53,990 --> 00:49:56,820
Well, you know me.
I'm always down for the cause.
740
00:49:57,320 --> 00:49:59,780
- Betas for life, baby.
- Betas for life.
741
00:49:59,870 --> 00:50:01,490
Mr. Levenstein?
742
00:50:01,580 --> 00:50:03,200
Hey, Erik. How's your mom and dad?
743
00:50:03,290 --> 00:50:05,290
They're good.
They're really good, actually.
744
00:50:05,290 --> 00:50:07,920
- Well, that's good.
- Hey, guys, this is Noah.
745
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:10,590
He's a Beta alum.
He's our House-counseling consigliere.
746
00:50:10,670 --> 00:50:14,010
This guy has gotten us out of more shit
than you can even imagine.
747
00:50:14,090 --> 00:50:17,010
Well you Beta boys do keep me busy,
that's for sure.
748
00:50:17,260 --> 00:50:19,390
Now, I've just talked
to the district attorney.
749
00:50:19,390 --> 00:50:22,720
He's an old school chum of mine.
He's willing to drop all the charges
750
00:50:22,810 --> 00:50:26,850
if you promise never to set foot
in the Silver Dollar again.
751
00:50:28,020 --> 00:50:29,770
This is ridiculous.
752
00:50:30,650 --> 00:50:32,440
Where am I gonna have Sunday brunch?
753
00:50:32,530 --> 00:50:34,400
Oh, look, I know you're upset.
754
00:50:34,490 --> 00:50:36,530
They do have a great omelet bar,
that's for sure.
755
00:50:36,530 --> 00:50:40,030
- But you're just gonna have to give it up.
- No, we can't.
756
00:50:40,530 --> 00:50:44,750
These geeks... These geeks are messing
with the Beta way of life.
757
00:50:45,870 --> 00:50:47,960
You want to step inside, Noah?
758
00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:49,790
- Oh, it's open?
- Yeah.
759
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:51,670
Oh, thanks Marty.
760
00:50:52,670 --> 00:50:56,010
If you wanna grab a sandwich,
I'll just be a minute.
761
00:50:57,260 --> 00:50:58,760
Look, fellas,
762
00:50:59,340 --> 00:51:02,930
there is a bigger picture here
than the Beta way of life.
763
00:51:03,890 --> 00:51:07,390
Is that what you thought
when you were in the Beta House?
764
00:51:08,020 --> 00:51:09,120
No.
765
00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:12,980
- No. It wasn't.
- So...
766
00:51:13,440 --> 00:51:18,490
So I think something has to be done here.
Within the confines of the law, of course.
767
00:51:18,570 --> 00:51:20,280
Of course. Of course.
768
00:51:21,370 --> 00:51:24,160
So what would you do?
769
00:51:24,950 --> 00:51:26,620
What would I do?
770
00:51:29,210 --> 00:51:34,130
I would crush those geeks
with every Beta muscle in my body.
771
00:51:36,800 --> 00:51:38,630
But that's just me.
772
00:51:39,470 --> 00:51:42,050
See you boys at homecoming.
Say hi to your folks, Erik.
773
00:51:42,140 --> 00:51:43,970
I will. Thank you.
774
00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:57,320
- What are we doing?
- We've got to find their trophy room.
775
00:52:12,080 --> 00:52:14,500
Freeze, human.
776
00:52:29,140 --> 00:52:33,020
Uphold the galactic alliance with my cock.
777
00:52:39,280 --> 00:52:41,070
What the hell is going on in there?
778
00:52:41,150 --> 00:52:44,620
Sounds like a dog with its dick
stuck in a vacuum.
779
00:52:44,700 --> 00:52:47,450
- All right, this way.
- I'm a husky ninja.
780
00:52:52,830 --> 00:52:54,790
There it is, the motherboard.
781
00:52:59,880 --> 00:53:02,300
Guys, I really gotta take a dump.
782
00:53:02,380 --> 00:53:04,220
Oh, come on. Not now.
783
00:53:04,300 --> 00:53:06,550
That fast food I ate put me over.
784
00:53:06,890 --> 00:53:08,560
Oh! I can't wait.
785
00:53:10,140 --> 00:53:14,230
Well, hurry up, then.
God, that guy's disgusting.
786
00:53:16,650 --> 00:53:18,900
Okay. All right.
787
00:53:25,070 --> 00:53:26,240
Okay.
788
00:53:33,500 --> 00:53:34,600
All right.
789
00:53:38,130 --> 00:53:39,750
Bobby!
790
00:53:43,930 --> 00:53:47,350
- Bobby, what are you doing, man?
- Upper-decker, baby!
791
00:53:47,430 --> 00:53:49,100
Upper-decker, baby.
792
00:53:49,890 --> 00:53:51,680
Oh, my God.
793
00:53:52,980 --> 00:53:55,940
Betas, we are leaving. Go, go, go!
794
00:54:01,610 --> 00:54:03,110
What's happening?
795
00:54:11,790 --> 00:54:13,450
Well, pledges,
796
00:54:13,910 --> 00:54:17,420
you completed every task
on the task board in record time.
797
00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:24,470
I, along with every other Beta in this
room, are proud to call you our brothers.
798
00:54:24,800 --> 00:54:27,220
Congratulations, you're all Betas!
799
00:54:28,010 --> 00:54:29,300
Oh, yeah.
800
00:54:32,560 --> 00:54:33,980
Hey, cuz.
801
00:54:35,270 --> 00:54:37,650
- Yeah.
- Here you go.
802
00:54:46,740 --> 00:54:49,160
So it sounds like you got yourself
a pretty good girl there, buddy.
803
00:54:49,160 --> 00:54:51,570
Oh, yeah. You know what?
Now that pledge is finally over,
804
00:54:51,580 --> 00:54:53,530
we can spend a lot more
time together, too.
805
00:54:57,210 --> 00:54:58,210
What? Are you kidding me?
806
00:54:58,290 --> 00:55:02,000
Edgar, get you and the Mensa rejects
out of my house, now.
807
00:55:07,220 --> 00:55:10,300
You have crossed me
for the last time, Stifler!
808
00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:16,390
We're gonna settle this once and for all!
809
00:55:21,400 --> 00:55:23,730
Oh! What the fuck?
810
00:55:30,030 --> 00:55:34,080
We, the members of the Geek House,
challenge you, the Beta House,
811
00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:36,000
to the Greek Olympiad.
812
00:55:36,080 --> 00:55:37,370
The Greek Olympiad?
813
00:55:37,460 --> 00:55:39,750
As much as I'd love to kick
your Geek ass up and down the field, Ed,
814
00:55:39,750 --> 00:55:43,590
I hate to tell you, the Greek Olympiad's
been banned for like 40 years. So...
815
00:55:44,920 --> 00:55:49,720
What's the matter? Afraid to get
into a little trouble, Stifler?
816
00:55:50,050 --> 00:55:51,390
Afraid?
817
00:55:52,680 --> 00:55:55,140
- Let's do this.
- Oh, but there is one catch.
818
00:55:55,220 --> 00:55:57,390
We are playing for charters.
819
00:55:57,890 --> 00:56:02,150
If we win, you give up your charter
and you move out of the Beta House.
820
00:56:02,900 --> 00:56:04,570
And if you win,
821
00:56:05,360 --> 00:56:07,900
we move out and you take our house.
822
00:56:08,570 --> 00:56:10,360
This place against your mansion?
823
00:56:10,450 --> 00:56:13,700
Consider it another tradition
I plan to tear down.
824
00:56:15,410 --> 00:56:16,740
You're on.
825
00:56:21,170 --> 00:56:22,750
Are you out of your mind?
826
00:56:22,830 --> 00:56:26,300
The Greek Olympiad
has been banned for life.
827
00:56:26,380 --> 00:56:28,260
You'll all get thrown off campus.
828
00:56:28,340 --> 00:56:33,470
- That's a chance we're gonna have to take.
- Oh, but the Greek Olympiad is crazy.
829
00:56:33,550 --> 00:56:38,470
I mean, yes, it's a combination of skill,
endurance, athleticism granted,
830
00:56:38,560 --> 00:56:40,790
but there is a degree of perversion
in these games
831
00:56:40,810 --> 00:56:44,190
which I don't think
would serve you kids well.
832
00:56:44,270 --> 00:56:46,360
Do you happen to remember the name
of the last captain
833
00:56:46,360 --> 00:56:47,980
to ever win the Greek Olympiad?
834
00:56:48,070 --> 00:56:50,280
Well, I haven't the foggiest
because it was so long ago.
835
00:56:50,280 --> 00:56:53,110
His name was Noah Levenstein.
836
00:56:56,410 --> 00:56:58,740
Well, I knew that would
catch up to me one day.
837
00:56:58,830 --> 00:57:01,790
But, you know, fellas,
I didn't know what was going on back then.
838
00:57:01,870 --> 00:57:03,250
I was just a dumb kid.
839
00:57:03,330 --> 00:57:05,290
Mr. Levenstein, we need you.
840
00:57:05,380 --> 00:57:09,050
Tradition states
that the last team captain to win
841
00:57:09,130 --> 00:57:10,880
comes back to officiate.
842
00:57:10,970 --> 00:57:12,720
I know it's tradition.
843
00:57:13,970 --> 00:57:17,010
I... I suppose I could do it.
844
00:57:17,100 --> 00:57:19,350
I'd have to call in
and take a few personal days.
845
00:57:19,430 --> 00:57:22,060
Excellent. You will not regret this.
I promise you.
846
00:57:22,140 --> 00:57:24,900
- Stifler! This just came for you, man.
- What is it?
847
00:57:29,820 --> 00:57:31,570
This is interesting.
848
00:57:32,490 --> 00:57:33,650
Hello!
849
00:57:36,700 --> 00:57:39,330
I'm here. What's this big bombshell?
850
00:57:47,420 --> 00:57:49,090
Are you sure you weren't followed?
851
00:57:49,170 --> 00:57:51,880
You? What the hell are you doing here?
852
00:57:55,550 --> 00:57:57,930
- Well, well, Stifler.
- Rock.
853
00:57:58,010 --> 00:57:59,430
Looks like we meet again.
854
00:57:59,510 --> 00:58:04,230
- All right, this is a set-up. I'm out of here.
- Just relax, ass clown.
855
00:58:04,310 --> 00:58:07,270
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
856
00:58:07,350 --> 00:58:10,270
What we had was a rivalry,
857
00:58:10,360 --> 00:58:13,280
but what Edgar did
got us kicked off campus.
858
00:58:14,610 --> 00:58:16,450
Wait, how do you even know the guy?
859
00:58:18,070 --> 00:58:21,240
He tried to pledge
our house three years ago.
860
00:58:21,330 --> 00:58:24,830
He was the first regular sized guy
to rush the little person frat.
861
00:58:25,580 --> 00:58:28,920
They used to have this tradition
where we put a sheep in the basement...
862
00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:29,960
Be gentle.
863
00:58:30,040 --> 00:58:31,590
They'd tell us we had to bang the sheep
864
00:58:31,590 --> 00:58:35,170
and that we couldn't come out
until the rubber was used.
865
00:58:35,260 --> 00:58:37,050
Now, one of two things happened.
866
00:58:38,510 --> 00:58:40,220
Either they would come out crying,
867
00:58:41,390 --> 00:58:45,390
or they would beat off in the rubber
and say they did the sheep.
868
00:58:46,730 --> 00:58:50,270
And then there was Edgar.
869
00:58:52,110 --> 00:58:53,530
Good luck.
870
00:58:57,820 --> 00:58:59,090
- It's okay.
- What the fuck?
871
00:59:00,990 --> 00:59:02,990
We gotta check it out.
872
00:59:10,210 --> 00:59:12,500
For the love of God, man!
873
00:59:13,590 --> 00:59:17,260
That sick bastard fucked the sheep.
874
00:59:18,050 --> 00:59:21,050
That's a great story but I'm
a little unclear on how it helps me?
875
00:59:22,260 --> 00:59:24,770
I'm sure you'll figure something
out, Shitler.
876
00:59:43,490 --> 00:59:46,120
Welcome to the Greek Olympiad!
877
00:59:54,210 --> 00:59:57,380
Competing today in this ancient tradition
878
00:59:57,460 --> 00:59:59,340
are the Beta House...
879
01:00:01,470 --> 01:00:03,260
- Beta! Beta!
- Beta! Beta!
880
01:00:03,350 --> 01:00:05,180
And the Geek House.
881
01:00:08,310 --> 01:00:12,860
Now, when we think of the term
Greek Olympiad,
882
01:00:12,940 --> 01:00:16,820
we hearken back to ancient traditions.
883
01:00:17,860 --> 01:00:21,820
We conjure up images of mighty warriors
884
01:00:22,240 --> 01:00:25,950
in their little skirts,
getting all oiled up,
885
01:00:27,240 --> 01:00:28,870
writhing around with each other.
886
01:00:28,950 --> 01:00:34,170
Some called it wrestling,
others called it something else.
887
01:00:34,710 --> 01:00:39,670
But enough history. On with the games.
888
01:00:47,430 --> 01:00:50,770
The first event is called
The Release of Venus.
889
01:00:51,390 --> 01:00:56,020
The man who undoes all the brassieres
on his side the quickest, wins.
890
01:00:56,520 --> 01:00:58,150
You know, Ed,
891
01:00:58,690 --> 01:01:02,240
it's really a shame all that practice
on your sister's training bra is not gonna pay off.
892
01:01:02,240 --> 01:01:05,950
Please, Dwight. I spent a season
in Milan dating lingerie models.
893
01:01:06,030 --> 01:01:08,080
It was before I met you.
894
01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:12,330
Gentlemen, are we ready?
895
01:01:12,410 --> 01:01:15,210
Decline and fall, Dwight.
Decline and fall.
896
01:01:17,000 --> 01:01:18,750
Start unsnapping.
897
01:01:34,980 --> 01:01:37,980
You know, I still hold
the record in this event.
898
01:01:38,070 --> 01:01:39,230
Hands of a surgeon.
899
01:01:44,530 --> 01:01:46,610
- Oh, what's up with Edgar?
- Chick's got double Ds.
900
01:01:46,620 --> 01:01:49,660
Squad clasps are really
difficult to deal with.
901
01:01:55,080 --> 01:01:56,180
Done.
902
01:01:56,250 --> 01:01:57,350
Done!
903
01:01:58,540 --> 01:01:59,670
I knew it!
904
01:01:59,750 --> 01:02:01,260
Betas win.
905
01:02:04,840 --> 01:02:06,430
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
906
01:02:07,800 --> 01:02:09,350
Hey, nice try, Edgar.
907
01:02:10,220 --> 01:02:13,430
Oh, sorry, sweetheart.
I guess I was just in the zone.
908
01:02:13,770 --> 01:02:16,600
You know, with a little more to work with,
I might have won.
909
01:02:17,100 --> 01:02:20,820
The next event is The Battle of Ares.
910
01:02:21,780 --> 01:02:25,820
Two men fighting to the death,
911
01:02:27,950 --> 01:02:31,330
or until one knocks
the other into the water.
912
01:02:32,540 --> 01:02:34,250
Yeah! Ride that!
913
01:02:34,830 --> 01:02:38,170
You guys are so done, Edgar.
Bull is an animal with this thing.
914
01:02:38,250 --> 01:02:40,920
Why don't you just save some face,
give me the deed to your place now.
915
01:02:40,920 --> 01:02:42,670
Not quite yet.
916
01:02:42,760 --> 01:02:45,760
You haven't met our new
initiate, have you?
917
01:02:54,310 --> 01:02:56,140
His name is Dave Maul,
918
01:02:56,230 --> 01:02:58,730
and he is the number-one rated
light saber fighter
919
01:02:58,810 --> 01:03:00,810
on the science fiction convention tour.
920
01:03:00,900 --> 01:03:02,570
Oh, he's a virgin.
921
01:03:02,650 --> 01:03:04,190
Are you ready, boys?
922
01:03:05,070 --> 01:03:06,400
Joust!
923
01:03:15,410 --> 01:03:17,040
Come on!
924
01:03:24,920 --> 01:03:26,220
Oh, shit!
925
01:03:32,550 --> 01:03:34,470
Take him! Take him!
926
01:03:35,930 --> 01:03:37,350
Finish him.
927
01:03:39,350 --> 01:03:40,520
Go! Come on!
928
01:03:46,150 --> 01:03:49,700
- Geeks win!
- I need a beer.
929
01:03:50,160 --> 01:03:53,580
The next event is called Demeter's Feast.
930
01:03:53,660 --> 01:03:57,040
Now, in ancient Rome,
the pig was considered sacred.
931
01:03:57,120 --> 01:04:01,080
And often sacrificed
to the goddess of agriculture.
932
01:04:01,540 --> 01:04:04,800
Today, we've taken a pig, greased it up,
933
01:04:04,880 --> 01:04:08,010
and the first one who catches it, wins.
934
01:04:12,550 --> 01:04:14,260
Hey, you sure you're up for this pigging?
935
01:04:14,260 --> 01:04:17,220
Stifler,
I grew up on a farm with 652 pigs,
936
01:04:17,980 --> 01:04:20,560
I can tell what the pig is thinking.
937
01:04:30,070 --> 01:04:31,570
Silly, little, fat man.
938
01:04:31,660 --> 01:04:34,570
Hey, Edgar, what's the deal with
Captain Sulu? He afraid to compete?
939
01:04:34,580 --> 01:04:36,790
You haven't heard of parkour, have you?
940
01:04:43,130 --> 01:04:44,230
What the...
941
01:04:45,250 --> 01:04:46,750
Go! Go! Go! Go!
942
01:04:47,550 --> 01:04:49,840
Come here, piggy. Come here, piggy.
943
01:05:09,110 --> 01:05:10,210
Damn.
944
01:05:24,290 --> 01:05:26,710
Come here, pork chop.
945
01:05:27,460 --> 01:05:28,710
Geeks!
946
01:05:59,490 --> 01:06:00,910
Geeks win!
947
01:06:07,630 --> 01:06:12,970
Greek Roulette is a very dangerous game.
Not for the faint of heart.
948
01:06:14,470 --> 01:06:17,590
One of these chambers contains a capsule
949
01:06:17,680 --> 01:06:21,430
with aged horse semen.
950
01:06:23,770 --> 01:06:26,600
Gentlemen, let us begin.
951
01:06:42,870 --> 01:06:44,250
- Disgusting.
- Oh, come on.
952
01:06:48,170 --> 01:06:51,210
- Come on, come on!
- Come on, Dwight!
953
01:06:54,130 --> 01:06:55,510
You're busted. Come on.
954
01:06:55,590 --> 01:06:57,640
- It's gonna be...
- We're not in it. Come on!
955
01:06:59,590 --> 01:07:00,800
You know, I gotta hand it to you, Edgar.
956
01:07:00,800 --> 01:07:02,760
I really didn't think
you'd have the huevos for this.
957
01:07:02,760 --> 01:07:05,020
I thought you'd probably
recruit one of your lackeys.
958
01:07:05,020 --> 01:07:09,440
I wouldn't miss watching you shoot
yourself full of horse semen for anything.
959
01:07:11,360 --> 01:07:12,460
Come on, man.
960
01:07:12,520 --> 01:07:14,030
Come on, Stifler!
961
01:07:14,110 --> 01:07:16,400
- Stuff it in there.
- Do it.
962
01:07:19,070 --> 01:07:20,820
- Yeah!
- Yes!
963
01:07:21,660 --> 01:07:24,490
- We can do this! Yes, yes!
- Come on!
964
01:07:26,870 --> 01:07:28,170
That's how we do.
965
01:07:28,250 --> 01:07:29,580
Oh, boy!
966
01:07:30,080 --> 01:07:32,250
- Come on! Come on!
- Edgar!
967
01:07:34,670 --> 01:07:36,340
Come on, baby. Eat it!
968
01:07:43,810 --> 01:07:45,180
Yeah!
969
01:07:45,270 --> 01:07:47,930
- Put two canisters in there!
- Two? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Two?
970
01:07:48,020 --> 01:07:49,980
That's too many, Dwight.
Come on, two? He's not worth it.
971
01:07:49,980 --> 01:07:53,900
Unless Edgar's afraid,
put in two canisters.
972
01:07:53,980 --> 01:07:55,730
Fine! Put in two!
973
01:07:57,490 --> 01:07:58,990
Put in two.
974
01:08:02,450 --> 01:08:03,660
Oh, man.
975
01:08:03,740 --> 01:08:04,870
Go!
976
01:08:05,120 --> 01:08:06,240
Go!
977
01:08:07,500 --> 01:08:09,540
- Be a man, huh?
- Ready. Go!
978
01:08:10,960 --> 01:08:12,960
- Warm it up.
- Hey! Hey! Hey!
979
01:08:15,170 --> 01:08:17,090
All right, all right! All right!
980
01:08:17,170 --> 01:08:19,930
- All right!
- Everyone quiet!
981
01:08:20,010 --> 01:08:22,220
We're good? Back to the match.
982
01:08:22,300 --> 01:08:23,640
You're good baby.
There's nothing in there.
983
01:08:23,640 --> 01:08:24,870
Oh, no. I can't watch this.
984
01:08:28,810 --> 01:08:30,560
Yeah! Yeah!
985
01:08:30,640 --> 01:08:33,270
- Yeah! Yes!
- Yeah!
986
01:08:33,360 --> 01:08:36,780
- Yes! Yes!
- All right! Yes! Yes!
987
01:08:36,860 --> 01:08:38,490
You're up.
988
01:08:39,530 --> 01:08:40,820
Come on!
989
01:08:42,530 --> 01:08:44,450
- Do it.
- Let's go.
990
01:08:44,530 --> 01:08:47,370
- Do it!
- Do it! Do it!
991
01:08:47,450 --> 01:08:50,000
- Do it!
- Do it, now! Pull the fucking trigger.
992
01:08:50,080 --> 01:08:54,460
- Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
- Pull the trigger.
993
01:08:58,300 --> 01:08:59,510
Oh, boy.
994
01:09:01,550 --> 01:09:04,590
Yes! We won! Sucker!
995
01:09:05,220 --> 01:09:06,760
Betas win.
996
01:09:06,850 --> 01:09:10,020
- Enjoy Mister Ed's jizz.
- How does that semen taste, there?
997
01:09:13,150 --> 01:09:15,650
Tough loss, there, Edgar,
but you know what they say, son.
998
01:09:15,650 --> 01:09:18,480
You've got to get right back
up on that horse.
999
01:09:18,570 --> 01:09:19,670
So to speak.
1000
01:09:24,950 --> 01:09:29,200
The ancient game of the Wife Carry
has been around for centuries.
1001
01:09:29,950 --> 01:09:33,370
The first couple
to complete the course wins.
1002
01:09:34,580 --> 01:09:37,210
- You owe me big time for this.
- I know.
1003
01:09:38,710 --> 01:09:40,760
- Okay.
- All right. Ready?
1004
01:09:45,260 --> 01:09:48,390
How pathetic. Now!
1005
01:09:52,060 --> 01:09:53,270
What? What...
1006
01:09:53,350 --> 01:09:55,230
Really? You trying
to give Bandhu a hernia?
1007
01:09:55,230 --> 01:09:58,360
Oh, once again your pathetic little brain
has let you down, Dwight.
1008
01:09:58,440 --> 01:09:59,900
Bandhu, up.
1009
01:10:04,570 --> 01:10:07,370
All right, Erik. We got this. Let's go.
1010
01:10:07,870 --> 01:10:09,450
We're fucked.
1011
01:10:11,620 --> 01:10:13,960
Come on, Erik! Go, go, go!
1012
01:10:14,040 --> 01:10:15,140
We can beat those Betas.
1013
01:10:15,210 --> 01:10:17,250
Pick up the pace. Faster, faster!
1014
01:10:17,330 --> 01:10:20,090
How'd you feel about that...
1015
01:10:26,470 --> 01:10:29,100
Come on! Come on!
1016
01:10:40,400 --> 01:10:42,780
Maybe I should have carried you.
1017
01:10:44,400 --> 01:10:46,780
Man, that is one scary chick.
1018
01:10:47,160 --> 01:10:48,280
That's a chick?
1019
01:10:48,490 --> 01:10:49,590
Okay.
1020
01:10:51,950 --> 01:10:54,830
And now, the Peloponnesian War.
1021
01:10:54,910 --> 01:10:58,330
The first team to consume
an entire keg wins.
1022
01:10:58,420 --> 01:11:00,340
Throwing up does not disqualify.
1023
01:11:00,420 --> 01:11:04,010
Gentlemen, inside this cylindrical
casing of aluminum,
1024
01:11:04,090 --> 01:11:07,300
lies 55 metric liters of malted alcohol.
1025
01:11:07,930 --> 01:11:10,180
Remember, fellas,
don't underestimate these Geeks.
1026
01:11:10,260 --> 01:11:12,430
Most of them are lonely problem drinkers,
all right?
1027
01:11:12,430 --> 01:11:15,390
Beware, gentlemen,
these men know how to drink,
1028
01:11:15,850 --> 01:11:17,730
but we are more than they are.
1029
01:11:17,810 --> 01:11:19,690
We are more than men!
1030
01:11:19,770 --> 01:11:22,400
We, sirs, are Geeks!
1031
01:11:22,480 --> 01:11:24,690
- Yes!
- All right, boys. Battle!
1032
01:11:26,650 --> 01:11:29,990
- Gentlemen, chug-a-lug!
- I can out-drink you fucks!
1033
01:11:33,830 --> 01:11:35,080
Drink!
1034
01:11:37,120 --> 01:11:39,330
We are geeks, we can do this.
1035
01:11:40,710 --> 01:11:42,340
Edgar!
1036
01:11:44,340 --> 01:11:45,970
I only have one thing to say to you.
1037
01:11:46,050 --> 01:11:48,170
What's that, you philistine?
1038
01:11:56,520 --> 01:11:59,190
Puking doesn't disqualify!
1039
01:12:00,190 --> 01:12:03,190
- Geeks, attack!
- Boot and rally, boys!
1040
01:12:10,030 --> 01:12:13,120
Come on, Edgar.
Let's see what you got, bitch.
1041
01:12:15,330 --> 01:12:18,330
That's all you got, huh?
That's all you got?
1042
01:12:27,050 --> 01:12:29,130
Go back to the keg!
1043
01:12:29,220 --> 01:12:31,180
We got a man down!
1044
01:12:31,260 --> 01:12:34,300
Gentlemen, we need to attain
maximum efficiency.
1045
01:12:34,640 --> 01:12:37,100
Irene, attach the device!
1046
01:12:41,900 --> 01:12:44,110
- What the hell is that?
- What is that thing?
1047
01:12:44,190 --> 01:12:45,730
Open valves.
1048
01:12:47,440 --> 01:12:52,240
That's the Geeks taking the lead.
It's time for our secret weapon. Wesley!
1049
01:12:53,200 --> 01:12:56,580
- Let's go!
- Keg stand! Now!
1050
01:13:01,620 --> 01:13:05,710
Open the valves all the way.
We need warp speed on this, motherfucker!
1051
01:13:08,250 --> 01:13:10,550
- Yeah!
- Yeah! Yeah!
1052
01:13:10,630 --> 01:13:12,090
Betas win!
1053
01:13:20,230 --> 01:13:24,310
With the Greek Olympiad tied,
we now go into sudden death.
1054
01:13:30,240 --> 01:13:34,450
The final event is called
The Rise of Aphrodite.
1055
01:13:35,240 --> 01:13:37,910
Quite simply, the first man
1056
01:13:39,580 --> 01:13:44,540
who excretes his manly juices,
1057
01:13:44,620 --> 01:13:48,710
in the ejaculatory sense,
1058
01:13:50,050 --> 01:13:51,260
loses.
1059
01:13:59,970 --> 01:14:02,270
I cannot wait to see
you come in your pants.
1060
01:14:02,600 --> 01:14:03,810
Let's do this.
1061
01:14:15,490 --> 01:14:17,700
Pi is equal to 3.1415...
1062
01:14:17,780 --> 01:14:19,830
- No big deal at all.
- 5978...
1063
01:14:19,910 --> 01:14:22,410
I feel like Santa Claus
at the local shopping mall.
1064
01:14:26,670 --> 01:14:28,540
- That was nothing. I'm okay.
- That was nothing for me, either.
1065
01:14:28,540 --> 01:14:29,640
No big deal.
1066
01:14:31,840 --> 01:14:33,590
Shake that thing.
1067
01:14:45,440 --> 01:14:47,940
- I like your boobs.
- Look at this.
1068
01:14:48,020 --> 01:14:50,770
Pretend you're sucking my man breast!
1069
01:14:51,650 --> 01:14:54,940
Give it up, Stifler.
This is a game of mind over matter.
1070
01:14:55,030 --> 01:14:57,450
And my brain is way bigger than yours.
1071
01:14:57,530 --> 01:14:59,030
I've got experience on my side.
1072
01:14:59,120 --> 01:15:02,830
I'll take that over
your Vulcan mind tricks any day.
1073
01:15:02,910 --> 01:15:05,410
We shall see. Bring her in!
1074
01:15:06,540 --> 01:15:08,790
We flew this young lady in from Las Vegas.
1075
01:15:08,880 --> 01:15:11,790
She's the number one stripper
in the Emerald City.
1076
01:15:11,880 --> 01:15:13,380
Enjoy, Dwight.
1077
01:15:16,550 --> 01:15:17,760
Oh, no!
1078
01:15:19,220 --> 01:15:20,600
Good luck.
1079
01:15:27,100 --> 01:15:29,560
I'm in trouble here, boys.
1080
01:15:29,650 --> 01:15:32,360
This chick is ridiculous. Bring her in!
1081
01:15:32,440 --> 01:15:34,860
Code Red! Code Red!
1082
01:15:44,120 --> 01:15:45,750
What the fuck?
1083
01:15:49,420 --> 01:15:51,830
Look at my tail, Edgar.
1084
01:15:51,920 --> 01:15:53,920
Look how fluffy it is.
1085
01:15:55,550 --> 01:15:57,220
Somebody make her stop.
1086
01:15:57,300 --> 01:15:59,720
Edgar, you got a little wool
fetish, buddy?
1087
01:15:59,800 --> 01:16:03,260
No! Make her stop!
1088
01:16:10,350 --> 01:16:11,730
He's done.
1089
01:16:19,900 --> 01:16:21,280
Betas win.
1090
01:16:24,780 --> 01:16:29,910
Beta! Beta! Beta! Beta! Beta! Beta!
1091
01:16:39,470 --> 01:16:44,470
To the winners,
I now present the Golden Hammer!
1092
01:16:44,970 --> 01:16:46,680
To Beta House!
1093
01:16:48,350 --> 01:16:49,560
Beta, baby!
1094
01:16:49,640 --> 01:16:53,400
Congratulations, Stifler.
You've kept the Beta traditions alive.
1095
01:16:53,480 --> 01:16:56,730
- Thanks, Noah. Betas for life.
- Betas for life.
1096
01:17:05,780 --> 01:17:07,740
Now this is a frat party.
1097
01:17:07,830 --> 01:17:10,290
No. This is a Beta party.
1098
01:17:32,690 --> 01:17:36,190
- Hey, I got a little surprise for you.
- Yeah?
1099
01:17:38,520 --> 01:17:41,820
A little present for you being
so patient and understanding.
1100
01:17:42,360 --> 01:17:43,530
Okay.
1101
01:17:44,070 --> 01:17:47,620
- Are you ready for your present?
- I'm not sure.
1102
01:17:48,450 --> 01:17:52,660
I'm really confused right now,
and I'm trying to keep an open mind but...
1103
01:17:52,750 --> 01:17:56,580
Oh, man this is fucked up even for me.
1104
01:17:56,670 --> 01:17:58,380
Here it comes.
1105
01:17:58,460 --> 01:18:01,460
Oh, my God. If it's bigger than mine,
I swear, I'm gonna pass out.
1106
01:18:01,550 --> 01:18:03,880
I'm not wearing any panties.
1107
01:18:05,300 --> 01:18:07,970
Easy, Cooze. Everybody can see you.
1108
01:18:08,050 --> 01:18:11,220
Well, I'm sure we can find some place
around here with a little privacy.
1109
01:18:11,220 --> 01:18:13,180
- Okay.
- Let's go.
1110
01:18:14,690 --> 01:18:15,790
Come on.
1111
01:18:19,230 --> 01:18:23,070
- Where are you taking me?
- It's a surprise. You're gonna like it.
1112
01:18:33,370 --> 01:18:34,790
I'm nervous.
1113
01:18:35,330 --> 01:18:38,750
What are you talking about?
Everything's gonna be fine.
1114
01:18:38,840 --> 01:18:40,670
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
1115
01:18:47,720 --> 01:18:51,600
Why don't I take care of you.
1116
01:18:54,140 --> 01:18:55,600
Okay.
1117
01:18:56,770 --> 01:18:58,020
Okay.
1118
01:19:09,820 --> 01:19:11,120
Oh, my.
1119
01:19:14,330 --> 01:19:16,710
I can't! I can't!
1120
01:19:16,790 --> 01:19:18,420
Look, just let yourself go, baby.
1121
01:19:18,500 --> 01:19:21,540
There's nothing you can do
that's gonna surprise me. Okay?
1122
01:19:21,630 --> 01:19:23,380
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
1123
01:19:24,170 --> 01:19:25,380
Okay!
1124
01:19:29,300 --> 01:19:31,050
Why are you bringing me in here?
1125
01:19:31,140 --> 01:19:33,220
Well, this being our new house,
1126
01:19:33,310 --> 01:19:37,060
I thought I'd come up with my own task
for the pledge board.
1127
01:19:37,310 --> 01:19:39,730
Okay. What's that gonna be?
1128
01:19:41,020 --> 01:19:43,520
Well, I think it's kind of better if I...
1129
01:19:43,610 --> 01:19:45,230
If I show you.
1130
01:19:51,950 --> 01:19:54,080
Sex in a movie theater.
1131
01:19:54,160 --> 01:19:56,910
I like the way you think, Erik Stifler.
1132
01:20:13,010 --> 01:20:15,600
I'm coming! I'm coming!
1133
01:20:15,680 --> 01:20:17,350
I'm coming!
1134
01:20:19,310 --> 01:20:20,560
Oh, my...
1135
01:20:24,320 --> 01:20:26,820
Okay. I was a little surprised by that.
1136
01:20:26,900 --> 01:20:28,280
I'm sorry.
1137
01:20:29,030 --> 01:20:30,530
It's okay.
1138
01:20:33,160 --> 01:20:36,490
- It was actually really sexy.
- Really?
1139
01:20:36,580 --> 01:20:39,040
Yeah. Can you do that every time?
1140
01:20:40,080 --> 01:20:42,540
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah?
1141
01:20:42,630 --> 01:20:44,000
Oh, my God.
1142
01:20:54,720 --> 01:20:57,600
- Hey, buddy, take a little dip in the pool?
- Nope.
1143
01:20:57,680 --> 01:20:59,480
Oh, wait a minute.
1144
01:21:01,600 --> 01:21:04,940
Yes. The elusive female ejaculation.
1145
01:21:05,360 --> 01:21:07,440
Not a lot of girls can do that. Congrats.
1146
01:21:30,590 --> 01:21:32,680
Beta House fucking rules!
1147
01:22:36,160 --> 01:22:37,490
Yes!
1148
01:22:46,670 --> 01:22:48,250
Hey, big boy,
1149
01:22:49,000 --> 01:22:51,960
ready to fill me
up with some more protein?
1150
01:22:53,380 --> 01:22:55,970
No, no, no. No!
1151
01:23:00,350 --> 01:23:03,180
Yes, the Blackout Menace strikes again.
1152
01:28:10,530 --> 01:28:13,030
Wear this for your next dance, honey.
1153
01:28:13,120 --> 01:28:14,330
Thanks.